Hui Hui’s Baptism (Dateline March 2004)

So the day finally came we had been dreading - Hui Hui's baptism day. This is the kid who beleives that political statements are made at the top of his lungs for 1/2 hr time increments. And who doesn't like people touching him.

Me, in my dark little mind, pictures a total meltdown in church. I see myself carrying the 5 yr old out the door of the church as the pastor is still trying to throw water on the kids head from the front of the church. He douses everyone but my son. I see myself ducking into the ladies room, dousing Hui Hui's head from the sink and calling it even (just between me and God).

Fast forward - the gang of five had Sunday school (went really well -they have snacks there you know). Then 1/2 hr wait until church. Then 5 kids in their Sunday best sitting in the front row, with no place for mommie to hide...just me, 5 twitchy kids high on sugar, Dave looking sheepish (waiting for the lightening strike for not being there for so long), and me - wondering which was the fastest route to the nearest bathroom.

Pastor #1 comes over to say hi. Wants to shake Hui Hui's hand – Hui Hui (age 5) just ignores him. Pastor babbles along in English, when everyone who is anyone knows the language of the day is Mandarin! Pastor #2 comes over - we repeat the same scene - Hui Hui looks at #2 as if he crawled out from under a rock.

Hymm #1 is sung (Hui Hui has his hands over his ears -well at least one hand and one cast (he broke his arm within 48 hrs of arriving but that is another story). Then it's time to walk the 5 very long miles (ok, 5 feet, but it sure looked like an eternity) to the baptismal fount.

Mom carries the 40 lb 5 yr old in her arms. Nicholas (6) and Annelise (5) are busy patting the stone wall that is the back drop to the altar (probably calculating the amount of force needed to bring it down), Simone (4) is standing next to daddy doing her own internal dance (right foot, left foot, swing your hair, repeat), Alexandra (4) is climbing the rock baptismal fount - because it's there.

My arms are about to break now, Hui Hui decides I'm not so bad after all because Pastor #1 is standing 2 feet away and waving at a small rock pool of water and this guy is really big. Dive into mom's hair and don't come up for air.

Start the ceremony. As we don't have sponsors, the pastor announces that the congregation is elected to fill these shoes. So please answer up when I ask the really hard questions:

Question #1: Do you deny your son's soul to Satan (or words to that affect)?

Congregation answers "Yes". Alexandra (now in daddy's arms) answers "yes" just as clear as a little bell).

Question #2: Will you help him grow in Christ and remind him not to take drugs, have premarital sex and color outside the lines as he grows up?

Congregation mumbles "How many kids does she have now? 6? 7?" Alexandra answers just a little bit louder, and a little bit clearer this time "YES"

Question #3: Do you promise not to lock him in his room when he begins holloring during the baptism ceremony and to givehim his Sunday donuts anyway?"

Congregation answers: "No, I only count five, but she said there were gonna be six...how do they all fit into that little van?" Alexandra, now on her way to sainthood, still in Daddy's arms says really loudly "YES!!!" Crystal clear, everything you could ever want in a sponsor, with all the conviction a 4 year old can muster, she says "YES, I WILL!"

My second thought (after realizing that Hui Hui can still breath in my hair, and that his swinging arm at the pastor during the water part actually missed the man) was to thank God that Hui Hui will have someone looking after his interests when I am dead an gone. And that person is only about 3 feet tall, weights in at 30 lbs (barely) and has the soul of a Christian solder.

You go girl! Momma loves you!

Mary, who survived another hour waiting to be part of the greeting team at the door, where only 2 out of every 100 grownups understands that little kids don't want to be touched without being asked. Who's second son shook the hand of an 88 year old lady who gave him a chance to decline (which he didn't), but who ignored and growled and swung his cast at everyone else who had the audacity to touch him. (He's got my vote on this one).

Post Script: "I'm hungry, can we go get Chinese yummies now"? Annelise, age 6, wearing her jade pearls from Taiwan and looking every inch a Shanghai beauty that she will become.

"I'm hungry, can we go to Fireplace Inn now", Alexandra, age 4, direct from God's lips to your ears. "Where's the play room, where's the toys, can I run around and climb the walls?" Nicholas (7), Simone (4).

"Are we done yet?" Dave (52) hiding behind Hui Hui.

Mary (grateful for every last one of them...most of the time.) Mom to Annelise, Alexandra, Simone (China), Nicholas (Russia) Tanner (Hui Hui) (5, Taiwan), and soon Shen Hung (5, Taiwan)